Imagine, if you will, a gravelly voice, an old radio voice chugging across the airwaves and through the lo-fi sounds of your AM radio:
You all know the story of Ananias & Sapphira as it appears in Chapter 5 of the Book of Acts in the NewTestament:
1 But a certain man named Ananias, with Sapphira his wife, sold a possession, 2 And kept back part of the price, his wife also being privy to it, and brought a certain part and laid it at the apostles’ feet. 3 But Peter said, Ananias, why hath Satan filled thine heart to lie to the Holy Ghost, to keep back part of the price of the land? 4 While it remained, was it not thine own? and after it was sold, was it not in thine own power? Why hast thou conceived this thing in thine heart? Thou hast not lied unto man, but unto God. 5 And Ananias hearing these words fell down, and gave up the ghost: and a great fear came on all them that heard these things. 6 And the young men arose, wound him up, and carried him out, and buried him. 7 And it was about the space of three hours after, when his wife, not knowing what was done, came in. 8 And Peter answered unto her, Tell me whether ye sold the land for so much? And she said, Yea, for so much. 9 Then Peter said unto her, How is it that ye have agreed together to tempt the Spirit of the Lord? Behold, the feet of them which have buried thy husband are at the door, and shall carry thee out. 10 Then she fell down straightway at his feet, and yielded up the ghost: and the young men came in, and found her dead, and carrying her forth, buried her by her husband. 11 And great fear came upon all the church, and upon as many as heard these things.
But now you will hear….the rest of the story…….
When Ananias came to, he found himself sitting in a chair –the kind that rolls around and leans back ergonomically-- in an office that was not much larger than a decent walk-in closet. A large slate-gray metal desk occupied much of the space. Aside from the blood-red, fire-resistant carpet that covered the floor, most of the room was the same monochromatic gray as the desk, and one of those annoying florescent ceiling lights with the barely perceptible flicker hung from the ceiling.
The dead man was too confused to be frightened. A tall, lean fellow with sharp and somewhat sunken features, Ananias was right around the late September of his life –or so he thought at the time. He breathed deep and exhaled slowly, running his fingers through the tight salt-and-pepper curls of his hair (more pepper than salt, but the balance had been growing more saline of late).
Looking around on the walls of the room, he noticed such odd items as a clock with no hands, and what looked like a calendar without numbers. Next to the calendar was a framed needlepoint stitching, red letters on an off-white background. The letters were actually symbolic glyphs from an alphabet he did not recognize –had he been able to translate it, Ananias would have read, “Blessed be the Name of His Kingdom’s Glory forever and ever.”
As he assessed his new and strange surroundings, a great wave of fear suddenly came over Ananias, and he thought, Where is Sapphira?
A door opened behind him, and in walked a man wearing typical Monday morning office garb, except that it was all white. A large pair of wings, fully plumed, protruded from a slot in the back of his starched collared shirt. He had a little paunch in his mid-section and a combover on his half- bald plate, and the halo that hovered a few inches above him had seen brighter days. He did not smile as he sat down across the desk, staring at a file folder he was carrying.
“Ohhhh-K, who do we have here…A-nanny-ass? Did I say that correctly?” His voice matched the room’s décor.
“Uh, well, it’s actually, um, Ana-NYE-us.”
“Mmm, my apologies, Ananias, OK. Well, my name is Gideon, and I’m with the Middle Realm division of Pearly Gates Incorporated. I’m going to be your case worker.”
Ananias fidgeted nervously in his chair, slouched over like a kid in the principal’s office. “Um, Pearly Gates Incorporated?”
“World population was growing much too fast, and the lines at the actual gates were getting horrendously long, so God decided to outsource.”
“Oh, I see…and um, wh-what’s the uh, Middle Realm?”
“It’s a place called Purgatory. Or I believe your people call it Gehenom. This is where souls are sent after death to be purged of the impurities that would prevent you from experiencing heaven.”
Ananias’ already pale face turned a shade or two whiter.
“You mean…I-I’m dead?”
“As a doorknob, yes sir.” Gideon scanned the file on the desk before him. “I have you down at…3:45 in the afternoon on Sunday, in the city of Jerusalem. Ring a bell?”
Ananias slumped even further down in his chair. He did not regard his case worker’s question; too many thoughts were spinning his mind already. He struggled to catch hold of one in order to form a question.
“But I…how…what did you call this place where I am? Purgatory? I’ve never heard of it before in the Church of the Way.”
“No, the earthbound Yahshuites have not found revelation of it yet, but it’s been the SOP for SILs since the very beginning. Adam was my first case in fact. Stubborn old goat he was, blamed his wife for everything. But even he made it eventually.”
“What was that…SOP? SILs?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, that’s department talk. What I mean is purgatory is the standard operating procedure for Souls In Limbo. These are people who sought after the heart of God, who desire the Kingdom of Heaven –basically anyone who has loved and wanted to be loved back—but have unresolved attachments to particular things of the world that they never learned to submit to God. If there is anything that you love more than God –in other words, if you love any part more than the whole—then you are not ready to experience the Kingdom of Heaven, where every part is also wholly God. Until you are ready to let go of everything that you consider a part of yourself, you cannot become whole, and you will remain in limbo.”
“But I can’t be in limbo. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior! I’m supposed to go straight to heaven to be with Him when I die, as part of His bride!”
“Yes, that is noted here in your file,” said Gideon, scanning the papers on the desk again. “And your Spiritual Coroner’s report indicates that this belief helped you sever most of your earthly attachments, but evidently not all of them. That is what we’re here to find out: what is keeping you from following your Savior to heaven.”
Ananias tried to object, but his mind was too confused to put the thoughts together, and he slumped further down in his chair as a declaration of his reluctant surrender. “OK but…how long will I be in limbo?”
“Honestly, Ananias, that’s mostly up to you. And it isn’t any easy question to assess since we are not operating on any system of time. The most accurate way to say it is that you will spend eternity here, and when we have finished what we need to accomplish, you will go to heaven and spend eternity there. The workload in purgatory varies tremendously; it depends upon how many different attachments you have, how strong they are, and how easily you will yield them. With some people” –the case worker snapped his fingers—“just like that. Others –not many, but some—these poor souls have to have their attachments literally burned off. This is what your Master meant when he said, “If a man abideth not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.” Most people hear that and think the fire is punishment, but it is the same refining, baptismal fire that he spoke of going through while alive, only now it is not voluntary.
“This department tries to deal with attachments through voluntary submission,” Gideon continued, rubbing the side of his nose occasionally with the eraser end of a pencil. “And like I said, most of the time we are successful. The biggest challenge we face here is attachment to one’s self –or should I say, the self-image, the ego. Overcoming it is the easiest way to heaven, in the sense that all other attachments usually fall away along with it, but it is the hardest nut to crack for most people. Jesus Christ was supposed to deliver the coup de grace to the egos of His followers, but this office is already seeing an alarming number of disciples of the Way come through just as anchored to their ego as ever. All they care about is their salvation. ‘Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me. Please let me sit beside You in the Kingdom of Heaven. I’m saved because I found Jesus, or Jesus chose me.’ All the same I-Me crap we hear from everybody else. But your coroner’s report is favorable; I don’t see any of the typical signs of egocentrism or egomania. So if you’re ready, we could jump right into our first session and—“
“Wait, please,” interrupted the dead man. “Before we go any further, I need to know about Sapphira. Where is my dear wife? Is she OK?”
Gideon shuffled through the papers intently. “Let’s see…Sapphira, Sapphira…yes, we got her too. She kicked it a couple hours later in the same location.”
Ananias’ head dropped into his hands and he burst into tears. “Oh my Sapphira, my sweet sweet Sapphira…what could have happened to you? No, oh no, oh no!!!”
The case worker, who himself had never been an earthbound human, always felt a sort of measured sympathy for those who had not yet learned that death is a door that opens rather than closes. But knowing that the only way his clients would learn this inscrutable truth would be to press on with the purging process, he was not one to sit idly while the frivolous human drama plays itself out on the other side of the desk.
“Well now, um, Ananias, don’t worry. Don’t worry about Sapphira, she’ll go through the same process and I’m sure she’ll come out fine.”
Ananias lifted his blubbering face and choked back his tears so he could speak.
“Is she here? Please, I beg you, I need to see her, I need to know she is all right.”
“I’m sorry, but that is strictly against department policy. We cannot let you contact anyone, living or dead, until we’ve resolved your limbo status. And trust me, that is for your own good, you might be—“
“Oh I don’t care about policy! Or for my own good! My wife is dead, and I don’t even know how or why. I need to see her. Please make an exception!”
“The only thing you need to do right now, Ananias, is sit down with me and figure out what’s keeping you out of heaven. It just might be an attachment to your wife, and I can’t risk letting you indulge that attachment by going to see her. You are no good to her or anyone else with one foot in purgatory and the other dangling toward earth. You need to focus and—“
“But you don’t understand!! I can’t live without her!!”
“WELL THAT’S NOT AN ISSUE ANYMORE NOW, IS IT?!”
Both combatants stopped in their tracks after that. Gideon leaned forward with his elbows on the desk and his fingertips supporting his head near the temples. Neither of them spoke for several seconds. Then the case worker exhaled deeply.
“Look….I’m sorry. I know your heart is with her right now, and I know why it is there too. But we need you here, now, more fully than you ever were during your life. Your wife is in God’s hands right now, just as you are. You have to trust in that. Your Master promised God that He would not lose a single one of his sheep, and I don’t intend to let you or Sapphira become the exception that proves the rule. Are you with me on this Ananias? Can we pull it together and get you booked on that Great White Train to points up?”
Ananias picked himself up form what suddenly seemed like an undignified slouch, and swallowed hard. Without making any effort to remove the more tangible signs of grief from his face, but without adding to them as well, he spoke. “Yes…yes, I am with you. For her, I will do whatever you ask of me.”
“Good. And that is a very constructive way to see it too, by the way. Those who want salvation for their own sake are the ones who have the hardest time finding it. Why don’t we get right down to brass tacks as they say and jump right into the search for these attachments.”
Ananias nodded his agreement.
“OK. Now, some case workers want to hear your very first memory –right up to your parents’ copulation if you can recall it—and work forward from there. I, on the other hand, prefer to start by exploring the circumstances surrounding the death –I find that they generally reveal the best clues. This is not easy, I understand. You just crossed over the threshold between your life and the life that follows it; you disoriented, a little scared perhaps. You want to cling to what is comforting and familiar; the last thing you want to dwell on right now is the final days or hours or moments of your earthbound life. That is why, for the newly dead, these circumstances exist in the murkiest parts of the memory. But we need you to try. What we are looking to do is create a very rough outline of the reasons why your earthbound life was terminated, for this often corresponds directly with the attachments that are keeping you in limbo.
“Keep in mind,” he continued, “that we will never be able to pinpoint the precise reasons why the Boss decided to punch your ticket –not because they are a big secret or anything, but because they are way, way, way too large for the capacity of the earthbound human mind. I’m not even equipped to handle that kind of information , and it’s not the type of thing that could be put on paper and stored in your files either. This whole office would not have enough space to contain the files documenting the trail of causes and effects that a single earthbound life creates and shares with all creation!
“But we can use that rough outline to make some reasonable deductions that will be helpful for us. What this department has learned through trial-and-error is that God often seems to pull the plug on people when the circumstances created by life-choices and cause-and-effect sequences have brought them to what you could call a spiritual cul-de-sac. They cannot go any further forward, and all there is to do is settle down – invariably into the spiritual equivalent of tract housing—or turn around. Faith-based paths like the Way, as taught by your Master’s apostles, often present this scenario: the faith helps you release most of your attachments, but it also gives you a complacency, a false sense of security that they are all gone and there is no more work to do. Ninety percent of the time in these cases, we find it to be that attachment to the ego I mentioned before. But you don’t show the classic signs of ego attachment, in fact I see the evidence of someone who was very eager to deny himself before God. Can you relate to any of this Ananias? Tell me your thoughts.”
The dead man gazed pensively at a spot near the junction of the back wall and the ceiling. Everything connected to the event of his death was lost in a thick haze in his mind, just as his case worker had suggested.
“Well…I know that Sapphira and I were always very happy together. We weren’t rich or anything, but I worked hard and we owned some land and a modest house. She and I were so close, it seemed like each year brought is closer, made us enjoy each other more. We raised four good children together, watched them grow into happy and healthy adults, and we loved them just as well. I mean, in a lot of ways I guess we were the envy of the neighborhood; everyone seemed to think that Sapphira and I had the perfect marriage, the perfect family –the perfect life.”
Ananias paused. He knew this answer was not going to suffice, and it didn’t; the caser worker stared intently, waiting for the inevitable “but” (It was a running joke in the department that no matter how happy the earthbound humans seemed to be during their lives, every one of them still had a “but.”)
“….But time also showed us that it wasn’t enough just to love one other person like that, or even one’s own family. We were missing something in our lives. We were too closed around each other, keeping to world out of our happy little home. There was no deeper meaning to our lives. I mean the Hebrew law is very righteous, and we followed it as best we could, don’t get me wrong. But it still kept us focused on ourselves. It wasn’t powerful enough to break those bonds….I think we knew there was supposed to be something more than just living for each other.”
“Mmm, yes, so you feel there was some attachment to the relationship perhaps?”
Ananias pondered that thought for a moment. “Yes, I guess you could say there was, yes.”
“And how did you seek to remedy that?”
“I guess that was our motivation for following Christ. We never saw Him or heard Him speak. We’d just heard all the hubbub around town about the son of David coming, and some people were going around saying that He was the Messiah, and other people were saying that those people were crazy…quite a whirlwind it was, let me tell you. The next thing I knew, we heard he was captured by the Romans and crucified, and I thought, Oh well, that’s that.
“Of course, I’m sure you know what happened a little while later, when His disciples started spreading the word around Jerusalem that Jesus’ body was no longer entombed, that He had been resurrected and ascended to heaven. One day Sapphira and I were walking among the olive groves along the edge of the city –that was one of our very favorite things to do together—when we were approached by a young man named Matthew. You could tell right away that he was a man of the Spirit –his eyes were lit up like there were candles inside. He told us that he had once been a lecherous tax collector, that he loathed all of humanity and hated himself for it. Then he told us the new Prophet had changed his heart and turned his life completely around, and all he wanted to do now was to share God’s love with his brothers and sisters.” Ananias chuckled as he remembered the apostle’s animated gestures and manner of speech. “He’d say things like, ‘Ah, you shoulda seen this guy, man! So gentle, and yet he had so much faith in the goodness of God that he could move mountains!’ We talked with Matthew in the olive grove for hours. He invited us to come observe the next Sabbath with the apostles and the new community that was rising up in Jerusalem, and we accepted.”
“OK,” said the case worker, leaning back in his chair, hands clasped together with interlocking fingers just below his chin. “Everything sounds pretty kosher so far. What was your experience like at the community of the Way?”
“Oh wow, like being transported to another world! Everybody there was like Matthew, just on fire with love for God and each other. We went to our first gathering early in the morning; all the apostles were there, plus a few dozen new followers, men, women and children. They all sang and danced together so joyfully. Then one by one people would speak as God moved them. They talked about the things Jesus had done, and how He had left the world in body but remained as the Holy Spirit who dwelled within those who accepted his call to follow Him in the way of love and self-sacrifice. The new disciples would talk about how they were lost before coming to the community, but they felt the truth in the words that were being spoken about Jesus and they knew He is our Messiah; they described how His Holy Spirit came upon them when they were baptized, and that He had been their great comforter and counselor ever since. It was such a heartwarming experience listening to these tales of redemption. They were so kind and inviting to newcomers like Sapphira and me, always talking about a ‘great commission’ that Jesus had given them through the Holy Spirit to welcome all into the family. After the gathering, they shared a meal together –I mean everyone all together; no one was left out or short-changed because they couldn’t work as much. I had never seen anything quite like this! So many people of this world will say they love their brother, until it is time to divide up the food –then it is every man for himself! But not among the disciples of Jesus Christ! I think that impressed me more than anything else, because it was more than just talk. This was the kind of love I wanted to experience!”
“And when did you decide to be baptized into the community?”
“Not immediately. The people in the community emphasized that Jesus told us to ‘count the cost’ before following Him, that we must consider everything of the world that we must leave behind to be His disciple.”
“Yes,” said Gideon, beginning to swivel. “It is the same principle that we use here in the Middle Realm. A life of austerity is meant to release you from what binds you to your ego –only in His case it is voluntary and it is meant to release you during your earthbound existence. This is why we say that the Way of Christ is supposed to bring about the death of the ego, not its eternal preservation. And after ‘counting the cost’” – he made the little bobbing quotation sign with his fingers—“what did you and your wife decide?”
“Well, after going to a few more meetings and praying about it as much as we could, I woke up one morning and I was having this vision of Sapphira and me together in the community. We were out on the streets of Jerusalem sharing our testimony with people just as Matthew had with us. And there were angels just above us, watching us, guiding our tongues as we spoke, leading us to the right people.
“Then the vision changed: we were out roaming the countryside with other disciples, singing joyuful psalms to the Lord, talking with anyone who would listen about Jesus. Again the angels were with us, leading us to people who were seeking the truth, or who just needed to hear a kind word.
“Then we were on a ship –I think we were crossing the Mediterranean—and there was a wild, ferocious man with us who had recently been converted and now he was a missionary to far-off communities all over the world. He was preaching to us on the ship about the joy of being part of the body of Christ, and how those who walk in faith will feel this joy even through the most horrendous persecutions and most intense physical pain. He told us that this is what sustained our Lord through the crucifixion. And all the while the angels were there too, watching over us and protecting the ship.
“Then came the interesting part of the vision. Suddenly the community was gone. Sapphira and I were alone, surrounded by Roman soldiers. They were making us carry huge wooden crosses up this hill. I mean, we were staggering under the weight of these things, and the soldiers were lashing us with their whips and mocking our Lord and God. Our blood was spilling out from our bodies and out flesh was ripped and shredded. When we finally reached the top of the hill, we put the crosses down, and they forced us to lie upon them, then they drove nails through our hands and feet as they spat upon us. They they hoisted the crosses up and planted them in the ground. And there we were, Sapphira and I, side by side, hanging and waiting to die. I looked and saw that the angels were there too, watching, but they did not intervene or offer any comfort. And the amazing part is…I didn’t need them to. In the vision I knew exactly what was happening, and there was no fear. I looked over at Sapphira, and I saw the same look of contentment on her face. In fact, we stared at each other, and sent each other a silent message of peace as our eyes closed.
“Then I could see myself from above, and I saw the angels come down and lift us right off the crosses –well, not our bodies, it was a weird thing to explain; our bodies were still crucified, but it was like, we were not our bodies anymore. Really weird. They carried us up into the sky, through the clouds to where I couldn’t see the earth. We kept soaring upward, until I could see the figure of Jesus Himself in the sky. he was enormous, sitting there on a cloud with such a look of peace, the same expression I saw on Sapphira. As the angels brought us near to Him, he reached out and pulled us in, and He just held us close, like we were babies. There were no words spoken in this part of the vision, but I knew, more clearly than I’ve ever known anything in my life, that Sapphira and I were home. That’s all I can say about it really. We were home.
“The last thing I remember is He was holding us up to his bosom, and slowly brought us closer and closer, until we were surrounded by Him. Then I was back in our bedroom in our house in Jerusalem. I knew what I had just seen was a vision, that it hadn’t really happened….but in another way, I also knew it did happen, and I knew because it changed me. I don’t know how to explain…but I was back there in our room, a familiar place I had known all my life, but it was totally different, because suddenly I knew I was still surrounded by Him. Sapphira was lying next to me, still asleep. I couldn’t wait to tell her what I’d seen, so I gave her a gentle nudge. Her eyes opened, and she looked up at me without any sense of being startled. She smiled and said, ‘Ananias, is that you?’ I started to tell her about my vision, and she jumped up, staring with her hand over her mouth as I told her about the different scenes. Then she said, ‘I was just having the exact same dream.’
“So that was when we knew. We decided right then and there to accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, and we prayed to Him. Later that day we found Matthew and told him, and he rejoiced with us! He and Peter brought us into the baptismal pool, and we became disciples of Christ. All because of our shared vision.
This story is dedicated to the indomitable spirit of Nikos Kazantzakis, who taught me more about spiritual discernment and the love of Christ than any of the churches who vilify his book.
