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Ananias had been staring wistfully off into a vast and invisible distance, as if his memories had been projected onto the sky outside his office. But
then it stopped, and he lowered his gaze intently upon Gideon. His question was so abrupt that it startled even the veteran case worker.
“None of what? Your vision? I can’t really say Ananias, that’s what we need to explore together. We still haven’t talked about the event of your
death. That was a fairly typical vision to be honest. Much more vivid than most, but nothing so outlandish that I doubt it happened.”
Ananias looked down and shook his head. “No…I already know that much. I haven’t disappeared into Christ’s bosom, for Pete’s sake, I’m sitting
in an office in a place called Purgatory talking to a case worker! This is more like the world than the world is!”
“Alright, alright, I see your point, but please Ananias, keep your cool and don’t jump to any quick conclusions. Salvation is not an exact science,
and two plus two doesn’t always equal four if you know what I mean.”
Ananias sighed heavily and slapped both palms on his thighs. “I don’t know. I’m just…I didn’t think it was supposed to be this confusing. I
mean, did something go wrong? Does one actually have to be martyred to go straight to heaven?” He paused for a few seconds, and a grave
expression came over his face. “Or was the vision false?”
“What if it was?”
The case worker did not interrupt him, but Ananias’ question had barely landed when his took off. This time it was the dead man’s turn to be
startled.
“W-what do you mean?”
“What if your vision was a fantasy? What if you had no true assurance whatsoever about what would happen to you after you die? What if those
angels are watching over you just as much as they watch over Joe Schmo down the street? What if you and those Roman soldiers face the exact
same fate –one that none of you can predict or understand? What if you are nothing special to your Lord just because you acknowledge him?…..
would you still be a Christian?”
Now Ananias understood the question. He raised his head and cast his most serious glare at the case worker.
“…Of course.”
“Really?”
The dead man, staring still, took his two clenched fists and held them to his chest, theatrically, as if they represented his heart.
“He died for me.”
“And the Roman soldiers?”
“And the Roman soldiers.”
“And the Egyptians, and the Philistines, and the Babylonians, all of your people’s worst enemies of the past, present and future?”
“Everyone. The only difference is that they don’t know it and I do. Those who are given the blessing of faith are also given the responsibility to
share that faith, to reach out to those who are living as though they are alone and unforgiven and show them the whole of God’s love, so that they
may know the same peace and feel the same joy."
“And nothing that happens here in this office or anywhere after you leave could alter your faith in Christ?”
Ananias paused again. This time he pulled his glare inwards. “The only thing that could make me doubt the gospel of Jesus Christ…would be for
He Himself to tell me that His enemies are unforgiven…that would be saying that He died for nothing.”
Gideon picked up his pen and began writing notes in the dead man’s files. “Your vision was authentic. What you saw was true,” he said, without
looking up. Then he dropped the pen and faced Ananias again. “But you didn’t see the whole truth. Now listen close Ananias cuz I’m going to tell
you something that you need to remember throughout this process: no matter how much of the truth that you feel you have within your grasp as a
human being, God’s truth is bigger. There are no visions or images you can ever have that are anything more than a representation of God. Your
Master for instance: yes, He is the Son of God, but so am I and so are you, so what does that tell us? On another layer of truth, we understand that
Jesus is the perfect representation of the Son of God; He accepted the burden of acting as the visible stand-in for all of creation, and He lay down
His life for it too. But don’t think that layer is the whole truth; you are just barely scratching the surface. The truth of the Son of God would blow
your mind, almost literally, and that is why you cannot know this truth. In fact, you will not be able to experience anything of what you caught as a
sliver of a symbolic glimpse of the truth in your vision until you have dealt with whatever earthly attachments you have and clear your soul to leave
this office, capice? Again, as your case worker and as someone who has dealt with a gazillion of these cases before, I advise you not to strain your
mustard seed by trying to figure this all out. Let the same faith that you found in life be with you in death, OK?”
Ananias nodded his approval, feeling more calm again.
“OK. Now let’s get back to your involvement with the community in Jerusalem. I recall you saying that you and your wife owned some property,
correct?”
“Yes, a small cottage on the outskirts of the city and some land.”
“And I also understand that the community of the Way in Jerusalem practices a kind of economic collectivism that goes far beyond sharing meals, is
that right?”
“None of us thought of anything as his own; and no one among us lacked. Those among us who owned property sold it and bought the proceeds to
the apostles to distribute among those who had need. As we had singleness of heart and soul, so we had all things in common.”
“So I assume then that you sold your property and brought the money you earned to the apostles.
“Yes, we did, we brought….”
The memory came back to Ananias like a mule kick to the head. His face fell into his hands again. The case worker’s eyebrows peaked in the
middle of his forehead.
“What’s wrong?”
No response. The dead man only muttered to himself.
“Ananias, are you OK? What’s the matter?”
“I kef’ fuma da bubby.”
“What? I can’t –“
“I KEPT SOME OF THE MONEY!” the dead man shouted, his hands flailing out in exclamation. “The money from the sale of the property! I
kept some of it! I didn’t give it all to the community!”
“You didn’t? Why? How much did you keep, a few bucks?”
“Half of it.”
“HALF?! Ananias, how did you expect to get away with that? Didn’t you realize that people would know the value of your property? And even
if you did fool your brothers –did you think that you could put one over on God?”
“Listen…I’m just a simple man. I’ve never been able to talk really well like the apostles do, and I’ve never been real sharp with finances, and I
just…I was planning to explain to Peter why I…I just wanted to do something nice for Sapphira. That’s all.”
“Oh, so you’re going to play the Adam card on me, eh? Blame it all on your—"
“No no no, it’s not like that. I’m responsible….it’s my fault this all happened.”
A few moments of silence ensued in which Ananias was unsure whose turn it was to speak, and he hoped it wasn’t his.
“I’m listening,” said Gideon.
The dead man breathed deeply and closed his eyes. “As I said, Sapphira and I were simple people; we never asked for much out of life, and we
were happy with our humble existence together. But there was one dream that we always talked about, one vision that we both shared: we had
always hoped that one day when we’d grown old, and our children were raised and had children of their own, that if we were smart and saved
enough money that we could sell our property in Jerusalem and move to a spot by the sea. Some little villa out on the Mediterranean shore. Again,
nothing fancy, just a place where you can smell the salt air and watch the sun set over the water everyday. That’s how we wanted to spend our last
days. And man, if you could have seen how my wife’s eyes lit up when we talked about it –almost as much as Matthew’s!
She’d never have acknowledged it –I don’t think she ever wanted to come across as greedy or anything—but I could always tell that she wanted this
dream to come true from the bottom of her heart, and all I wanted was to give it to her…is it true that angels don’t get married?”
Gideon nodded. “What your monks and priests have always tried to become through their devotion and chastity, we already are.”
“Well…I don’t know if I can explain to you then what I mean by that. When a man has a wife, it’s not even enough to want to give her your whole
life. You want to give her things that will outlive you, that’s how big your love is for her. You want to give her the stars or the moon, something
that will shine forever, long after you are gone. I knew I couldn’t do that, but I wanted her to have her place by the sea for her to enjoy her last
days, the best thing my humble self could give.”
“Mmmm, yes. That is a God-given impulse for you humans, to love someone that much. I may not be able to relate to it personally, but I
recognize it in you, and I admire it. Most married men who come through this office never understand that as well as you do. What you describe
about your wife is how we feel about God, and what your Master was trying to teach you to feel about God too. And that is why the community
demands that you give everything, holding back nothing.”
“I know…I know. When we first started accompanying Matthew to the community, and we knew we were falling in love with our Lord and Savior,
there was this one place in the pit of my stomach that wouldn’t let me rest, just a nagging sort of question: what if they ask you to sell the property
and give it all to the community? The dream will die. You’ll never be able to give your wife that place by the sea. Whenever people talked about
‘counting the cost’ of becoming a disciple, I was so ready to give it all up…all except that one little dream. I could not let go. It started to feel like
the one single pillar that held up everything I ever was in the world, everything I ever wanted to be for my most beloved.
“But then the vision came, and it overwhelmed everything. There was nothing more that could hold us back from being baptized in the name of He
who brought us that much peace. The question of what to do with our property and the income from the sale didn’t come up again until after the
baptism when Peter sat down with us and discussed God’s expectations of his disciples and responsibilities to the community. I couldn’t remember
any of this before, but now I distinctly recall the conversation I had with Sapphira after that. We were very quiet, like neither of us wanted to be
the first to talk openly about losing our dream. Then finally I had an idea for a compromise: let’s give half of the money, which would be a pretty
fair sum in itself –property values have gone way up in Jerusalem since Jesus hit town—and put the rest into saving for our for our Mediterranean
villa –only now it wouldn’t just be for us, but for all of our brothers and sisters in the community! What a wonderful place that would be for folks
to go and get out of the city for a while, just relax and reflect, and meditate on their relationship with Christ! For the first time I felt like our dream
wasn’t at odds with our Christian calling, that maybe they could go hand-in-hand. I was just about to explain that to Peter too, but he went ballistic
when he saw how much money I lay at his feet.”
“Yes, by all accounts the man is still pretty high strung.”
“He didn’t even give me a chance to talk! He just started screaming all this stuff about how the property was under my own power and how I’m
lying to the Holy Ghost and not to men, blah blah blah, and then it all just went black. I don’t remember anything after that, before waking up in
this chair.”
“Ah yes, that is as close to a clear-cut, open-and-shut case as we’re ever going to get. God most certainly took your earthbound life back at that
moment, and it is crystal clear why: you felt justified in making your own decision about the money, not trusting God or your brethren. And yet
you felt you had reached the pinnacle of your spiritual path by electing to follow Jesus. This is a classic cul-de-sac scenario. That dream may seem
innocent enough to you, but it was actually putting a stranglehold on your spiritual growth. God killed you in order to save you from it.”
The expression on Ananias’ face leapt from contrition all the way over to indignation in one fell swoop.
“What?? God took my life over THAT? Over money? That’s ridiculous! Was that a sin worthy of death?”
“Oh now, wait a minute here. I didn’t say He was punishing you for it, I said He was saving you from it. One problem with humanity is you
always assume that death is some kind of punishment, and it almost never is. Death is a door opening to larger opportunities than you could ever
experience in your earthbound existence.”
“Opportunities? Like what, the opportunity to sit in some dumb office and apologize to a paper-pusher for wanting to do something nice for my
wife?”
“Ananias, please, you’re getting way off track now! You can’t even begin to imagine what awaits you outside these doors if you’ll just cooperate
with—“
“LOOK! I’ve had about enough of cooperating with you! If you are telling me that our God is so merciless that He would snuff out two people’s
earthly existence over something so small and correctable as a misunderstanding of the importance of giving all your money to a stupid church…then
I don’t even know if I want to follow this “God” of yours. Jesus talked about a God of mercy and forgiveness, and if you’re going to come to me
with this crap about your God holding a vendetta against me because I held onto some money to fulfill a dream of someone I love more than life
itself, then I’m starting to think I’m better off without Him. At least that way I know that somebody loves me in this universe.”
More silence. The dead man’s vitriol was spent, and he had nothing more to say, yet he had no quick impulse to get up and leave either. Gideon
leaned forward with both elbows on the desk, his left forearm lying prone and his right index finger and thumb supporting his forehead. He felt like
burying himself under the blood-red, flame-retardant carpet. All the progress they had made through their conversation had just vanished before his
eyes, and now they were at a worse state than where they began. It was times like these that Gideon felt his angelic limitations most acutely, and he
wished that God had given his kind a greater scope of wisdom in being able to understand the human race.
It was not ordained to be so. But there was always prayer.
Prayer was as natural to Gideon as breathing to his clients. He simply closed his eyes, shut off his mind like a light switch, and let a very personal
sort of spiritual signal fire commence in his heart. Since his mind was temporarily unavailable to process the signals, he did not think anything in
words, but these particular signals would have translated as something very similar to this:
“O God, I know that you will prevail in the end over all circumstances by whatever means you need to use, but as your humble servant I ask you:
please, don’t make me send another Christian to the Lower Realm. That would make three on this shift alone since the New Testament Church was
formed. I can tell this man’s heart is so near to you and so desirous to be at one with you. Can’t you just give him a little nudge…please?”
No sooner had Gideon put out his fire, opened his eyes and began taking in sensory input again did he see Ananias shaking his head and looking
utterly forlorn.
“Oooh, Lord, please forgive my outburst,” he cried. “I know You are sovereign over all, and You are only trying to help me know You better.
Please, please forgive me for getting in Your way, but my eyes see nothing but confusion now, and I need You to show me the way. I trust you to
work through my case worker and guide me to the place where I can meet You. Amen.”
Gideon exhaled softly and slowly through his nostrils, and leaned back in his chair, looking up.
Thank you.
Then something seemed to startle him. He turned abruptly toward the wall to his right, as if he were trying to look through to the other side. A
small grin started to grow on his face, starting with his lips, then spreading outward until it filled his eyes. He turned and faced Ananias. The dead
man looked up and saw his glare.
“I’m sorry to you too sir. That was way out of line. I know you just want to help me. I hope you weren’t insulted.”
“No, it’s quite all right Ananias. I never take anything personally in this line of work. Even if I did, God would rebuke me before I have a chance to
punch back.” He winked at his client, which made Ananias smile.
“However,” he continued, in a more official tone, “I do think that you have revealed something that we need to consider, and I’m going to give it to
you straight, no chaser. Is that OK with you?”
“Yes, I’m ready.”
“OK. The problem is not the money or the property or the dream of a place by the sea…the problem is your wife.”
Ananias felt another cold shiver, the same kind that stopped him in his tracks when his memory was restored.
“My…m-my wife?”
“Yes, I’m afraid so. It’s a textbook case really. I’m surprised it took me this long to realize it. She’s no good for you, sport. I think you are going
to have to let her go.”
“But –but…but, why? What do you mean, let her go??? Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. I would never do this to you if I weren’t sure. I once has a case a lot like this one. Samson and Delilah. I’m sure you’ve read about
it. And believe me, Samuel did not even record the half of that story. Man, that girl was all up in his head something horrible. Just about had to
give that guy electric shock therapy before he swore off of her for eternity. I’m afraid that is what I am going to recommend for you too.”
“But…why? How do you know???” Ananias was almost too numb with worry to cry, but tears were building in his eyes.
“It’s pretty obvious that you love her more than God, and I don’t think there is anything we can do about that without severing your relationship. I
mean, I could recommend a little time in the Lower Realm, but you are so darn close to being a free man, well, it just seems like an awful waste. I
don’t know what she did that got you so wrapped around her finger like this. But you said it yourself: she’s the reason why you kept half the
money. It isn’t your fault: it’s hers! She’s the one who is so attached to material things that she could convince you to defy God, and without even
saying a word. That is way more control than one human being should have over another, and God just cannot stand for that in his Kingdom. I’m
sorry about this Ananias, I really am, but if we are going to get you clearance to leave purgatory and go to heaven, I’m afraid I will need to ask you
to renounce your love for Sapphira so you can give it all to God. She kept you from doing that on earth, but we are going to have to put it to an end
if you want to see the Kingdom of Heaven.”
“But, what would happen next?”
“Well, I don’t have the authority to say so for sure, but without your wife in the picture, I see a very clean slate for you, my friend. I don’t see any
reason why I couldn’t get you a final approval for heaven right away; you could be flying out of here in no time. I am pretty certain they will hook
you up with some shorefront property up there too. The possibilities are always boundless of course.”
“And Sapphira –what about Sapphira?”
“Hmmm. That is hard to say without looking at her file and listening in on her sessions. But I have to be honest and tell you from experience: in
cases of spousal attachment like this, it is usually twice as bad for the captor as it is for the captive. In other words, her dependence on you to be
the self-sacrificing provider of her needs is much stronger than your dependence on her to love you in return. It will be much harder for her to let go
of you and this dream for material comfort that has imprisoned you both. She will be fine in the long run of course, nothing that happens on earth is
irreversible, but my guess is that Sapphira is going to do some hard time first.”
“You mean, in hell???”
“I’m afraid so Ananias.” Gideon leaned back in his chair, with his fingers interlocked behind his head, which spread his wings a bit wider. “I’m
afraid so.”
The dead man slumped even closer to the ground. “But….wha –would I ever see her again?”
“Very unlikely,” said the case worker. “I can’t think of any case off hand where a couple that needed a post-mortem severance to find salvation was
reunited in heaven. Probably the dangers of a potential relapse, as you might well imagine. If you consider the fate of Lucifer, you will understand
why heaven is a place you don’t want to be falling from.”
Neither man nor angel spoke for a while. Ananias’ head was buried in his chest, both hands gripping tightly on top as if holding on for dear life. He
felt hollowed out, like there was very little left that he could call himself besides this empty space.
Gideon tilted his head, as if a new angle on the situation might help. “What do you think Ananias?”
No response.
“I mean, I understand your predicament, but there is really nothing else we can do. You can’t intervene for her –it would only increase her
dependency on you. Sometimes in this purging process the best thing you can do is cut your losses and start over with—“
“No.”
“….excuse me?”
“No.” The dead man lifted his head. The whites of his eyes were almost a solid bloodshot red, and he quivered noticeably as he spoke, but there
was a new resolve in his voice. “I can’t…I won’t.”
“Ananias –are you saying you don’t want to go to heaven?”
“Wherever Sapphira must go, I want to be there with her. I may not be able to save her, but I could be a comfort to her. How could I ever rest in
heaven knowing she is alone somewhere else?”
“But you will be burning in hell together! The devil will be tormenting you specifically to break you of your addiction to each other –what then?
The fires of hell will do what you could have done painlessly here!”
“Fire would mean nothing to me,” said Ananias, sounding more and more defiant. “I burn for her already. If God or the devil want to break me of
that, they will have to use something much stronger.”
“But Ananias, what about your beachfront lot in heaven that we—“
“I DON’T CARE ABOUT THAT!” The walls did not actually shake, but they seemed to. “Haven’t you even been listening to me?? Why would
I want to spend eternity without my wife in a home I only wanted to give her? Seeing her dream fulfilled was where all the value of my dream lay.
Can you angels not understand something like this?”
Gideon thought for a brief moment, then abruptly leaned forward with both elbows on the desk. “So you’re telling me that nothing heaven has to
offer you would persuade you to take my advice?”
“Not without Sapphira, no.”
“And you are certain about this? There is no convincing you otherwise? The Mediterranean villa means nothing to you?”
Ananias simply shook his head. Gideon nodded a couple times, then picked up his pen and began writing in the files. The dead man’s gaze found
that spot outside the office again, beyond the far wall.
“Nothing in heaven could be more beautiful than what God has already shown me in her eyes,” he said softly, almost to himself. “I could just look
into those eyes and all my troubles and fears would disappear. If we could all see in everyone what I saw within my wife, there would be no need
for heaven…”
His voice trailed off into an inaudible whisper. Gideon stared at the dead man for a few seconds, or hours, then resumed writing.
“That’s a very beautiful sentiment, Ananias. I’ve made a note of it in your file.” He finished what he was writing, then picked up the papers and
dropped the bottom of the stack on the desk to even them out. “Tell you what: I’m going to go punch a few keys and try to get a word with some
of the higher-ups. Maybe we can get a decent sense of where we need to go next. Sound good to you?”
Ananias did not respond. Speechless and motionless, he sat in his chair and stared into the beyond as the case worker picked himself up and hustled
out the door with his files. And there the dead man stayed, lost in his sad, mortal reveries.
(continued on Page 3)
The Continuing Story....page 1
The Continuing Story....page 3
